HW 27 - Visiting an unwell person

Over the break i discussed illness and dying with a relative in egypt who is dying (i will reffer to her as nadia to protect her identity). When talking with nadia i didnt discuss illness or dying at first, i wanted to work up to it but it ended up being nadia who brought it up. Nadia is almost 80 and you can tell that she is dying, the color in her face has gone and she can no longer move her body as much as she used to. i realized that nadia who once moved her hands around as she would tell me stories no longer does that (similar to Morrie in Tuesdays with Morrie). when she brought up her dying she didnt seem sad, angry or anxious. She seemed contempt, not that she had accepted the fact but more like it wasn't serious enough to worry about.

I told her about the ideas from tuesdays with Morrie, we especially discussed detachment and her response was something unexpected. She said "I can't detach, to feel all these emotions to their full capacity and then die never to feel them again would kill me by itself." When she said this i felt it would be wrong to keep asking her questions about how it feels to be dying and what the process is like but she insisted i go on. When we disscussed family i could tell that it was going to be hard for her. Her family is her life and so leaving them she says is going to be the hardest thing to do. She seemed caught up on the thought of leaving her kids.

Growing up in Egypt and in a fairly religous family Nadia was never really taught about dying and illness in school or otherwise. Most of the things she knows about death she discovered herself. She told me about the time she asked her parents about dying, They completely dismissed the topic, praying immediatly as if talking about dying would make it happen. This topic was taboo for her so being educated on the situation was something she never experienced. However i dont think it is her parents fault, most of us are scared of the unknown, we dont like to be in situations where the possible outcomes are unknown. In Tuesdays with Morrie, he talks about the importance of family during the journey that is dying (as Nadia put it) which i incorporated into my questions, since i am nadia's family she was happy that i discussed the topic of illness and dying with her and that i could be there to explore her own thoughts and my own.

HW 26 - Looking back & forward in unit

The illness and dying unit has helped give me a new perspective on the idea of illness and dying. This unit has helped me understand that what i fear is not death but is the journey to it (which is illness and dying). When reading Tuesdays with Morrie i felt a connection with Morrie the main character in the book, almost as if i were the narrator himself. many ideas were being addressed in the book but the few ideas that i felt popped out to me were Morrie's ideas on how life is to be lived. He discusses being kinder to others, allowing your emotions to fully penetrate you (detachment), he briefly mentions the aspect of living using technology and machines, the way we trick ourselves on our view on illness and dying, and he also mentions how to prepare for death.

The source that has been most helpful in grasping a deeper understanding of our culture's dominant social practices around illness and dying would have to be Tuesdays with Morrie because of the fact that i could relate with the narrator on the process of having a loved one die. I was able to look back and see how i reacted when my loved one died and realized all the things i did that were typical, i responded to the dying of my loved one with anger and sadness and not allowing my self to dettach the way Morrie suggested which may have helped me with that experience and the aftermath that came with it. I feel that group discussions would be the best use of our time. If we could process our thoughts on this unit with each other for a little while we could get a better understanding of it. 

HW 25 - Response to Sicko

Precis-

Fifty million Americans are uninsured while the remainder, who are covered, are often victims of insurance company fraud and unfair red tape. These red tapes used to prevent the insurance company from paying for their policyholders illness are terms such as Pre-existing, not a medical necessity, and even experimental medicine. Today’s healthcare system is setting all incentives towards less medical care. We conducted interviews with people who thought they had adequate coverage but were denied care. We contacted former employees of insurance companies who then described cost-cutting initiatives within their own former companies that give bonuses to insurance company physicians and others to find reasons for the company to avoid meeting the cost of medical treatments for policyholders, and thus increase the company’s profitability rate.

Evidence-

A. 

• Michael Moore's first piece of evidence to bolster his argument in Sicko was the denying of claims of "good" people who are Policyholders of whichever insurance company.
• Michael Moore's second piece of evidence to bolster his argument in Sicko was the statements of former employee's of these insurance companies.

B.

• The first piece of evidence is important because it adds a emotional aspect to the movie in whihc he is hoping you can realte to even if you have not gone through the experiences that these people who are being denyed coverage have gone through.
• The second piece of evidence is important because it makes the first argument seem valid, by adding the statements of the people who would deny those claims and worked first hand in the process of hurting those people being denied and also seeing their remorse makes us think that "Oh hey, if the people who worked at these insurance companies say it is happening then it must be happening."

D.
While doing research i discovered multiple sources that supports Dr. Sanjay Gupta's evidence refuting the evidence provided in Michael Morre's Sicko. The average life expectancy of the cuban person is 77.64 years old (CIA World FactBook - Cuba - 2009) while the higher United States life expectancy is 78.11 years old( CIA World FactBook - US - 2009). Using these sources i can verify what Dr.Sanjay Gupta is saying and also say that they are legitamite and accurate arguments.

Response-

When Watching Sicko i felt many of the arguments and evidence for the arguments that michael moore used was very important and had an impact on me. However the most imortant piece of evidence that was presented was the international perspective on The United States health care system, specifically the shock and astonishment of people from both britain and france when they heard about how we would have to wait for approval from our insurance company before recieving or even sometimes attempting to recieve help from a medical establishment. I feel that the way Michael Moore directed this movie was intended to instigate a reaction from the person watching it to the point where they say "damn my health insurance sucks maybe i should move somewhere in which it doesn't." and really just to upset insurance companies and anyone who is opposing him on this topic. I believe that the movie really only enforced my ideas on the dominant social practice surrounding Illness & dying, which was that The United States is not helping or taking care of its citizens when they need it the most and that is when they are ill or dying.

HW 24 - Illness & Dying Book, Part 3

Tuesdays with Morrie, by Mitch Albom, Random House Publications, 1997
 
Precis-

Morrie died on a saturday morning on the fourth of novemebr with his son Rob who got to kiss him goodbye and his other son Jon and of course his wife Charlotte. Two days after our final visit when he finally made me cry, which is something he has always wanted he fell into a coma. He wanted to go serenly and that is how he went, in his own bed with his notes and books and small hibiscus plant nearby.At his funeral when Morrie's ashes were placed into the ground i looked around to realize that the spot he had chosen was indeed a lovely place filled with trees and grass and a sloping hill. He would say "You talk, I'll listen." i had tried to do that and to my happiness this imaginery conversation came naturally.

Quotes-

1. "I believe he died this way on purpose. I believe he wanted no chilling moments, no one to witness his last breath and be haunted by it." (187)

• This segment really made me question Morrie's will power in the end because of the fact that he express deep belief in the idea that everyone should experience everything to the fullest yet does not allow those closest to him to experience his last breath or his spirit drifting away from this earth. 

     2.  " Morrie rolled his eyes toward the ceiling. "I'm bargaining with him up there now. i'm asking him, 'Do i get to be one of ther angels?' It was the first time Morrie admitted talking to god." (163)

• I felt that this segment was particularly important because it shows that Morrie is just like most people who are ill and not someone who is above the general population. I think that the fact that he is bargaining with god shows how ill he truely is, to contradict your own values and beliefs in such a way shows how desperate Morrie is to be safe for the afterlife (if there is one).

     3. "Sometimes, when you are losing someone, you hang on to whatever tradition you can." (182)

• I choose to use this quote because it really meant something to me and for most people i think is very true. i have gone through my own experiences losing a loved one and i can tell you from first hand experience that tradition is sometimes the only thing that you can do to remember them, when my grandfather was dying i remember humming to him the same thing every night to help him fall asleep and i continue to do that until this very day to help my self fall asleep.

Connections- The way Mitch albom choose to end the book was very touching, he said "I looked down at my hands, saw my watch and realized why. It was tuesday." and in fact made me cry a bit. After finishing the book i felt that i had gone on this journey with Morrie and not Mitch, i began to felt as if i was narrating my own story, feeling my own connection with Morrie and that i was Mitch. Going through a similar experience to Mitch's i could understand the emotions he felt and so i did feel the emotions he felt. Everytime i opened to a new page i felt my self opening a new experience in my own life. 

Below are the video links to the actual Ted Koppel interview with Morrie if anyone would like to take a look.

Part-1 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcnL2o385Gw
Part-2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdlJ_kqmhkQ&feature=related
Part-3 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZY9VVmzZcpk&feature=related
Part-4 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbeHxA55sek&feature=related
Part-5 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2BQ7O-fcG8&feature=related
Part-6 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=749jb7vzcno&feature=related
Part-7 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVHdOvqCH7Y&feature=related
Part-8 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyPKXZSFSP0&feature=related
Part-9 (Final) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_mxu8FzOEU&feature=related

HW 23 - Illness & Dying Book, Part 2

Tuesdays with Morrie, by Mitch Albom, Random House Publications, 1997
 
Precis-
Visiting Morrie is becoming almost a ritual, he has a way to make you feel like you are the most important person i the room when he talks. Every tuesday we talk about a different topic ranging from family to love. Morrie said something the other tuesday about detachment, he said that to truely detach yourself from something you have to let it fully pennetrate you, take fear or pain from a deadly illness for example something morrie is going through. If you hold back on the emotions you will never detach from them but by throwing your self into these emotions you experience them fully and completely so now you know what pain and fear are and can say 'ok i have experienced that emotion. i recognize that emotion.Now i need to detach from that emotion for a moment.' he got this idea from the Bhuddist which is something he is identifying more and more with as he becomes more ill.

Quotes-

1. "Detachment doesn't mean you don't let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate you fully." (103)

• I felt that this specific sentence really displayed Morries hypocriticalness. He would constantly talk about allowing yourself to experience everything without preventing any sort of physical emotional reaction however the fact that he is detaching himself means that he is trying to rush or get out of emotions he doesn't want to experience. (however i am not saying that detachment is the wrong way to go about things)

     2.  " There is a better approach. To know you're going to die, and to be prepared for it at any time."(81)

• This section of the book was the one i felt would connect to our 4 unit which is death, Morrie talks about how to approach death and says that preparation is key which i agree with completely but came to the realization that this is not always possible. Some things take time to do like being able to run a marathon for example. It takes months even years of preparation to do this, so if you die before finishing your preparation for the marathon are you prepared for death. Also the idea that constantly being concerned with death is very sadistic and would be something that i personally could not do. I would rather live life in the moment than worry about how to prepare for my future death.

    3. "Once you learn how to die you learn how to live" (82)

• This section is very similar to the one above however i agree with this point. I feel that what Morrie is trying to say here is not that learning how to die is learning how to live but that accepting the idea of death and its randomness leads to less of sense of fear of it. Not fearing death means that you could go out and experience an adventure like snowboarding, bungee jumping, or skydiving without having that hesitation that could essentially stop you from experiencing things that could make you a better and more alive person.

Connections-

Dealing with death is something that almost everyone will have to experience and something i have experienced already. However i have not yet found the right way (for me) to deal with it. I feel that death is something that should not be as complicated as it is. I'm not saying that death is not important but i feel that it should be as easy to mourn a life being lost as it is to rejoice at a life being given. To me death is just another experience and fear should not let you stop yourself from experiencing it. The idea that the better man is the one who has no emotions, therefore experiences no pain or fear is wrong it is the one who experiences it to the fullest and can release there emotions that is superior.

    

HW 22 - Illness & Dying Book Part 1

Tuesdays with Morrie, by Mitch Albom, Random House Publications, 1997

Precis-
Morrie, was a dying man diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (asl) in august of 1994. Morrie was a teriffic professor one who loved to dance and be active, his attitude was always optimistic. Even in his last years of life he never got upset, he was never angry that he was dying but instead curious as to the process of illness and dying and wanted to share that with the world. I would go to his house every tuesday, we would talk for hours just like we did back in college except this time i was no longer in a grey sweatshirt with an unlit cigarette hanging from my mouth, i was older, fatter, not only had morrie changed but so had i, 20 years has taken its toll on both of us.

Quotes-

1. "So many walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when doing things they think are important. This is because they are chasing the wrong things." (page 43) 

• This is one quote in the book that really got my attention because it is something i have never thought about. I never realized that the dreams i chased may possibly be wrong. The idea that popped into my head is that the things that society tells you is right may also be wrong and of course this has an affect on what i think is right and wrong because we all attempt to impress soceity by doing what society considers good.

      2.   "The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning." (page 43)

• This quote stood out to me because i personally do not agree with it. I think that by devoting yourself to others your only giving them meaning not yourself. I think the way to get meaning into your life is to attempt to leave a legacy for future generations because loving someone will only last so long as to your legacy that can last forever.

      3.  " The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. and you have to be strong enoughif the culture doesn't work, dont buy it."(page 42)

• I felt that this quote was both wrong and right. I agree with the fact that this society does not makes us feel good about ourselves but i think it also should not have too. Society should not make us feel good about ourselves but instead each individual should make themselves feel good. it is just easier to blame it on society when the true blame is the individual, i think that those who does not love themselves will not be loved others.

Connections-

I have gone through my own experiences of having a loved one become sick and eventually die, so i do understand what mitch is feeling. When my grandfather passed it was a very sad day for all involved but especially for me. i never met my grandfather face to face but as he got more sick we would talk everyday on the phone. We were close but not as close as someone who has known there grandparent their entire lives it was more like making a new friend. During his final days he would tell me sotries about his live, and i think that was to try to leave his legacy allowing him to live through his stories even after he had died which is similar to what morrie is doing he is leaving his legacy with mitch and society to try an allow himself to live even after his death.

HW 21: comments

To Tamiko: I felt your paragraph on religion was very insightful. My parents are very religious themselves so i can understand your view well. i agree with you on the fact that she looked to Buddhism to help her through this tough time and being from a religious household my self i have sen and done this many times. Any time my mother would see something like war or death on television she would give thanks to god for blessing her with a good life (even though she should kind of be thanking my dad for having a good job and working hard) however i feel that both beth and my mother's religion is what keeps them standing strong during times where many people do not.  


To Jhonny: The Topic i am choosing to talk about in your writing is insight. i felt that your writing had a lot of sparked memories which were written quite nicely. The sentence "She also reminded me of all the family members i had lost and how no matter how long it has been since your family member died they will always be with you in your hearts." caused me to think about all the family members that i have lost and even though they are gone little things remind me that they may still be with me in spirit. You can always tell if someone writes with insight because i think it often makes you think or come to the realization of something insightful yourself.

To Arden: The topic i am choosing to comment on is the beauty of your writing. When reading it i feel like what your saying truly flows out of you. The emotion as Tamiko said is a very strong part of your writing and i feel that any one who reads this will know that. i specifically liked the line "Being faced so close to death Beth was hit with the reality of immortality. For many of us it feels like such an unknown, unlikely, distance thing." because i felt like i could connect to this, i too feel as if death is so far away and unknown even though unlike you i have had a close experience involving the death of someone.
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 Tamiko O. said...

i got a similar impression from Eric deaths and the way he went about it. when someone loses hope during a time like death that is so dreadful it can hinder those around you and the one directly dealing with it. Eric ended his life in a heroic way i feel, he put out thier that death itself can be positive. Ms.Bernett noticed that herself.

Johnny P said...

Ms. Bernett's story affected me in the same way it affected you. For example Ms.Bernett's story made me realize that we are not immortal and that we could die at any place at anytime. The quote were you said, "you can have a steady job and a steady relationship but in the end a million different things could happen to you," really stood out to me because this made me realize, something very scary and it also made me realize that we are not immortal. However I believe that death is only as bad as you make it. For instance if you are screaming and just laying down in bed then you are only making your "final process" more difficult for yourself. However if you except the time that you have left on this earth and make the most of it, the "final process" wont be so difficult and this could possibly even cause less drama in your families life.

Brian (attic person) said...

I think one important part of growing into adulthood is to realize that mortality is a universal part of life and that it does not, in fact, take away for any one person's sense of power. None of us will live forever. Sickness, as a precursor to death, gives an impression of that for many people. One common way for a young person to experience this is through the illness of a grandparent. When it is a parent instead, the lesson is more intrusive into your life as a young person. I think it's important to examine these feelings, understand how they act upon your own value system, and integrate them into your own life. It sounds like you have done at least some of this so far, or are on your way to it. This isn't pleasant to do, but it's necessary to become a fully-actualized adult who doesn't live in fear of death or dying. To me, your writing indicates that you have seen how the experiences that Mrs. Bernett described are similar to those in your own life. That skill is necessary to become a person who can empathize with others in order to develop compassion for your fellow person.

Arden H said...

Sharif, I really enjoyed reading your post. Your post addressed this topic from many different perspectives. You managed to take the basics of Beths story and create a deeper understanding for yourself through connected it to class and other aspects of life. You were able to find the parallels in her story to your own personal experience. I appreciate your honesty and thoughtfulness through out the post. I particularly like line when you said "I tried to keep my self away from the illness by keeping myself away from the ill." Which helps explain why the ill are so isolated. It seems as though the ill want to isolated, but others do not want to be around them either. This is what puts a stress on peoples relationships. great job! Steven (Basement Person) said...

This is an amazing story. It is written wonderfully and it uses great writing techniques to thoroughly express the deeper meaning of this text. You also restated it in you last sentence, which just adds to the clarity. Hearing a story like this has helped to change my opinion on illness and death, and im sure it can change many others point of view. I think that it is fantastic that you look for alternatives even in places where you dont think you can find any. The overall writing piece was very well written and very insightful.

HW 21 - Expert #1

1.Ms.Bernett treated everyone with respect and importance and in return received the same.
2.Ms.Bernett kept her son josh visually away from his father during this experience.
3.Ms.Bernett says that this gave experience made her realize that everyone is going to die eventually.

When Ms.Bernett came to share her experience i didn't expect that her ideas and insights would be so similar to mine. When she was sharing i could feel every emotion she was feeling, when my father was diagnosed with diabetes i remember feeling like that one kid in the world who has it the worst. When this happened i was scared to see my dad. You would expect my mother to keep me away from him but it was i who kept away. i emotionally distanced myself from him. i couldn't accept or even deal with the fact that he is going to be that way for ever and that he could go blind or his feet and hands would get numb. i tried to keep my self away from the illness by keeping myself away from the ill.This thinking really hurt the relationship that my father and i had, the relationship only began to meld back together 3 years ago when i begun to accept the fact that diabetes can be managed and that he is still the same person he was before he was diagnosed with diabetes.

Ms.Bernett's comment about how this experience made her realize that everyone is going to die eventually brought me back to the comment that was said in class a day before which was Abdullah's idea on how illness and dying gives us a sense of mortality. This comment made me think of the time that i had appendicitis, at age 8 it was one of the most frightening experiences in my life. i was surrounded by illness and death during my time in the hospital, my roommate was sick, every room i went in had either someone coughing or crying. Being surrounded by this constant feeling of pain and sickness made me think that i could die right now and this is how people would remember me. my biggest fear was that my death wouldn't mean anything giving me this sense of mortality that i had never felt before.

Ms.Bernett sparked the idea that life isn't stable. you can have a steady job and a steady relationship but in the end a million different things could happen to you. You can get hit by a car, you can get cancer, you could even fall off a cliff. When Ms.Bernett was talking about how her husband could not lay down to sleep really sparked this thought of hope and attitude (specifically because after his lungs were drained she said it was the greatest gift you could have given him). I find it very important that your attitude be positive when experiencing something as terrible as cancer. if you lose hope in yourself people begin to lose hope in you and as Ms.Bernett said what makes life great and worth living is relationships without those relationships what is holding you back from death.