When considering whom I would conduct this interview with the first people that I thought of were my mother and father seeming, as they would be the two easiest and most logical choices. The third person I decided to interview was a family member who is very close to me. The first person I interviewed was my mother, I asked about my own birth out of curiosity to which she responded with a very interesting story. I was born during an emergency C-section because the umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck and chocking me (she says I move around too much cause i wanted to get out and play with her). I asked my mother what was the emotional change during the process of being pregnant up until giving birth, specifically the emotional connection with the baby (me). She said that at first there was no emotional change other than the obvious "oh my gosh I am going to be a mother", she went on to say that she became nervous that when I was born that I was going to get hurt, not necessarily through child birth but some other way as well. I asked about her maternal instinct, whether there was one or not and if so what was it like. She said that there was a connection between her and that she could almost feel what I felt, both emotionally and physically.
My mom’s story of my birth allowed me to really be thankful for today’s medicine and the skill of those who delivered me. It also helped informed my understanding of my own birth and birth in general. I feel that birth is the closest thing that we experience to death in our lives. The barrier between the two is so thin that you could easily breakthrough to death while in birth. This also helped me question whether or not there is an easier way to give birth, one that causes no pain to both the mother and the fetus and what places in the world is death during birth more likely and why?
Next, I interviewed my dad. I asked him about my birth to see if there was any sort of common aspect about birth that my parents share. To see if there were any similarities I asked my father the same questions. When I asked him whether there was an emotional change during the process of your wife being pregnant up until giving birth, specifically the emotional connection with the baby; he gave a surprisingly honest response, one I didn’t expect. He said that he honestly had no emotional connProxy-Connection: keep-alive
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tion with me specifically but he had an emotional connection with the idea of me. When i asked him to explain it further, he said that his emotional connection was with him being a father and at the time he was more concerned with his ability to be one rather then me. He aid however he felt a very strong emotional connection with me when he held me for the first time, it gave him the realization that i was real, living, breathing human who he has to care for and not just this idea of "son" or "child"
This story defiantly gave me insight into the role and emotions the father/partner experiences when they are going through this process. I think that the reason this is could be because there is no physical connection like there is with the mother. This also helped me wonder whether or not there is paternal instinct? And also is there a real emotional change within the father during the process of pregnancy and birth? which also led to the question of is there a stronger emotional response/connection when the baby is born compared to when it is still in the mother.
The last person I interviewed was a family member whose name I am not revealing at her request. I chose to interview her because she has gone through an experience in which her died before its birth and was one of a pair of twins. I asked her about the emotional connection between her and her fetus (whether there was one or not). She told me that she did have an emotional connection with the twins and that she could feel that there was something wrong before she went to the doctor. She began to talk about her connection with the twin that was living and how she felt as if she was missing a piece of herself. She said that she felt like an unfinished puzzle. I pitied her but she told me not to look so sad she lives a happy life knowing that her fetus didn’t die while it was a baby. I asked her why she says that? And she responded by saying it didn’t get to experience life so death wasn’t a painful thing for the fetus.
This story had the strongest impact on me just because of the sadness of it. However what really gave me a strong impression was the strength the mother had to think about it that way. Most people wouldn’t have the courage to analyze the death of a loved one with such detail and to be able to move past it is something I haven’t been able to do yet. Her story helped produce the question of whether a fetus dying is really death since it technically hasn’t been alive yet? And also whether or not there is an emotional toll to pay when a mother has had a miscarriage or abortion?
The topic I want to explore during this unit is death during birth; specifically how these two completely different things exist so close together.
Sharif,
ReplyDeleteI found this to be your most interesting post of the ones I have read so far. Particularly, I thought your comment on the tenuous grasp of life at the moment of birth was very interesting.
The most striking part of the post - and the one I think you could expand - is the investigation of the female and male perspectives on the process of becoming a parent. There is an interesting dichotomy in the way your mother and father experienced your birth. It was smart of you to ask them the same questions. I wonder if their sentiments are more global. Do mothers and fathers feel this way in general? This would be an area of further study. Does the lack of the physical connection, as you point out, influence the father-to-be's perspective on the process of becoming a father? These are questions worthy of further study.
Keep up the good thoughts.
T
I know that this is very general, and a broad idea, but my favorite idea in your writing was the "emotional connection". I have never thought about how there could be an emotion connection between something that everyone consider "alive" and something that only some people consider "Alive" (given that sometimes alive means breathing, and being held, and others where alive means being a fetus). This idea was very significant to me and specifically caught my attention, which is why it has inspired me to think deeper about it.
ReplyDeleteThis topic is a little bit challenging for me to fully comprehend as i believe that you have to experience it to believe it. To really know the emotional relationship and connection, i think it is one of those subjects that cannot be explained. This has led to deeper thinking and the trying to understand the topic more thoroughly even though i percieve it to be impossible for me to fully comprehend at my age.
Overall, i think this was a great topic, and a great explanation of it, and it will defenitly leave me thinking.
This is definitely one of your better written posts. Little grammatical error, sharp insights. To be honest I was surprised. When you were talking about your mothers interview you had me laughing, which means I wanted to read more because I found it interesting. Your post was fairly long but it had good structure to it so it didn't seem as long. It wasn't that repetitive either, as every story had a different focus. What I would suggest is making transitions between the stories, and connect them to each other. Like in the interview with your mom, you discussed a "connection" with you (as a fetus/newlyborn child) and then you again made a similar reference in the story with your family member. Because of this, you could have related them, made a deeper connection between them.
ReplyDeleteMaybe this is a topic you could study further.
Good writing man. Exceeded my expectations!
-Kevin (comment back!)
In my opinion this is a really well written piece,you made some real strong and insightful insights. I thought your interview with you mom was quite interesting , espically when you discussed the "connection" your mom felt with with you as both a fetus and then newly born child. I think this connection with a mother and newborn is something special. It's something hard to miss,but the idea that it occurs even before actual birth is amazing. How the baby and mother are one in the same.Makes me think of a quote "I don’t know whether they should say “You have a baby” Or “The baby has you”." Nice job can't wait to read more.
ReplyDeleteSharif,
ReplyDeleteFirst off: THAK YOU for your post. second off: I think this was a very well written piece and i enjoyed reading it. I particular liked how compared both your mothers and fathers interpretations of your birth. Although i do not necessarily agree, i thought this line was an interesting idea, "I feel that birth is the closest thing that we experience to death in our lives. The barrier between the two is so thin that you could easily breakthrough to death while in birth." although birth and death seem to be total opposites i do they the two are related. Connected by ideas of religion in some cases, or better explain the dominate social practices in our culture. I agree with you that it would be an interesting idea to look into further. :)
The last interviews you conducted was very intense. I think There are alot of women who would have mutual feelings as your person. Id heard miscarriages described in the sense "it [the baby] was a dead part of me" It seems as though it is something that really takes a toll no people psychologically. but how does one become so attached with something they have never seen, held, talked to? A something that may or may not be even alive? this follows your thinking of the relationship between birth and death.
well done